Monday, January 28, 2013
I have always been on the fence about whether I am an academic or artist at heart. And for some reason I can't really be both. Actually I don't think of my self as an artist at all, more a craftsman born in the wrong time.
Life has been crazy and a bit sucky lately. I had to make a tough decision to take a leave of absence from school so I could be there for my family. This has been the major theme of my adult life and I feel a bit lost to still feel trapped in my family role. I find myself spending a lot of time wondering how it is ever really possible to become the person you want to in this day and age and negotiate aging and sick parents. I am young to deal with it...although not as young as I was at the beginning of this journey 18 years ago.
Taking a leave of absence was painful and hard. I feel as if I am putting my life on hold one more time yet I feel a bit like I am running out of time. Strangely I feel too old and too young for all of it.
But not being in school this term has also been a relief. In some insomnia driven haze I realized that not being in school meant I could make more things. I could let that part of myself back out. Tonight I sewed a new binding on my coat. It made me smile. It made me want to share. And so I thought I would come back here and share for any that are still listening or maybe just to hear my voice not get lost.